Posted by Morning Sun, Monday, July 28, 2008 at 05:15 PM

Guilty Caregiver

I've been caregiving for my dad for the last two years. His Alzheimers has got to the point where I have to help him do almost anything, and he can be a real brat about it when he wants.

I was helping him change today and he started swearing at me. I just blew up at him and cussed him right back. I think I scared him.

I've been feeling guilty ever since. I can't talk to my sibs about this--I'll get chewed out for being mean to dad. I know he can't help himself, but sometimes it just gets so hard to deal with.

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Posted by Jozhanee

July 28, 2008 at 09:22 PM

Morning sun: Don't feel guilty. Caregiving for alzheimers or dementia patients is very draining. I care for my Mom. Like your Dad, I have to help her with everything. We deserve to let off some steam every now and then. It's unavoidable.

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Posted by Jan

September 29, 2008 at 07:28 AM

Hi morning sun...I too care for my mom who has dementia and i KNOW it is very hard and draining. In fact today I am feeling very guilty because yesterday I lost my temper with her and started crying. I try very hard to make things nice for her.. It was Sunday and I made her breakfast..we ate out on the patio, then we played scabble..I turned on the "African Queen " movie for her in the afternoon, made her her favorite supper,,then it starts. You see, she comes to my house for either 2 or 3 weeks then goes back to her house for a week or so ( my sister lives near..and well ..kinda helps).well after eating she starts with the "Well anytime you are ready u can take me home" I told mom u have only been here for one day you are gonna be here for two weeks..then it starts..."NO..I never stay here for two weeks" and I tell her yes u do etc etc...well within 2 hours and her asking me to go home about 2o times,,I just lost it...yelled at her..and this goes on and on ubtil she goes to bed.. I exhaust myself...she of course wont remeber anything this morning..but I feel horrible for getting mad...I think i get frustrated because when I am home I really try to do everything for her... I want to make her feel comfy..but when I lose it..i feel awful..there are a ton of stories I could tell you..as Im sure u could tell me..if you are interesting in sharing..email me....I couls use a freind that has the same problems..

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